I want so much
to be always with you
I want so much
To be everything for you
I want so much
you to Feel like me
It is so human to want
It is so human not to remain silent
It is so human not wanting to adjust
Don’t you think it’s so selfish to want
to extinguish the Pain in your heart
with a splash from another soul.
What’s the point
of two souls to be together
when they are equally empty?
What’s the point of seeing,
if you live in darkness?
Flash of lightning in the night.
Empty handed
I was born
Empty handed I will go
everything else caught
in between is a trap
my experience makes me heavy
as a drop of dew
a grass blade tilted
Because of me
I fall and disappear
How brilliant
My life is running
away from me
I always wanted
to reach out
the lightnings
Short poem form the cycle – „Zen woods“ from „the book Into … „
Paper boat, in the vast ocean-universe
Without direction
Aimed toward the path of endlessness.
Surrounded by winds love,
without asking he shares his breath.
She will never be alone.
Where will it turn? Where will it go?
That little particle of life.
How long will it go?
The spark of light to give away.
In separation with the forest, I thought about the strength of this life force that has filled everything there.
I wondered if there is something little left from it in me. Whatever it was it looked like a message to me, sent from the forest. It shooked me. Can I leave unbiased from there? To the woods, to me, to knowledge, to everything. Can there be a neutrality in human life?
After your soul experiences a power with such a magnitude, nothing will remain unmoved and unchanged. Everything changes us, even the very resistance to the change itself.
This transformation itself is inalienable; it is not a process, it is a sequence of events, it is those events we can alter by using our will and actions.
Living my everyday life, I wonder whether I am right or wrong, taking one or another decision and making one or another action. All of that changed after I felt the sameness with all the living around me. A lesson emerged, whether I want to help my self or help somebody else. I should stop repeating mistakes, and look for a creative way to do things differently, to reach inner harmony, to be an example of what can be achieved. For everyone has eyes, heard and mind to see and understand that model. Trying to fight, counterpoint or react, and react to yourself or someone else a different way, you are going to repeat the same mistakes and will be captured by vicious circle unable to leave it, separating you from your true self.
To the endless space, there is no direction, forever lost or everlasting and existent, is the same. What makes a difference is, am I aware of the gift of life, and will I appreciate It? Will I realize every moment on the road in an unknown direction?
I will fill my life with meaning or will It leave to the flow.
A small paper boat, in the vast ocean-universe. A tiny grain of life, harmless virus, infecting with life. That’s why we’re all the same until we are alive to carry the spark.
The Bulgarian version of the text can be found here at Journal1.bg